Dear Higher Power,

I am very upset with you right now. You really are playing some sort of cruel joke on me. First, you take away the guy I loved and was going to marry (he didn't die, we just broke up) and next you print the wedding dress I was going to buy in last month's Cosmo. You must really hate me. What. The. Hell. You suck. Also, you can't even give me some decent guy to walk into my life so that I can have a good and healthy fling. And on top of that you decide to plant the only decent and funny guy on the other side of the country. I don't like having to depend on Mr. Red Bullet...it's not cool anymore. So, please, if you could just send me someone to shake my tree and love my peaches...well, then, that would be just great. Thanks in advance.
Yours Truly,
Leese

P.S. Please?